You really coming over, don't trick.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
