I just pynch a tree in the face
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
