So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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