you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
