I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
