I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
