i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
