good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
