being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
