I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
