Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
