don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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