Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
