I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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