Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
