We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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