Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
