great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
