I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
