Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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