Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
