My cat gives me a boner
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
