Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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