you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
