The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
