Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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