Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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