I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
