I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
