Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
God I need to hump something, right now.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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