just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
