I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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