Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
