Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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