just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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