Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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