so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
