she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
