your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
