Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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