it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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