i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Drake has all the answers
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
