I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
