can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
