my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
