Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
And my parents said I crawled through the house
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
