i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
