We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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