i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize