I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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