You really coming over, don't trick.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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