very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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