Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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