I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
