i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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