if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
How external is "for external use only"?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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