so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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