he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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