That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize