He is such a slut. More and more my type.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
