sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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