Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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