I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
